Brave Wimps?

How bad does it have to get before you say enoughs enough? The cigarette smoking + alcohol + weed has just become the trifecta in my life. Strong and true. But like.. man, getting old is a rude awakening in itself. At some moments, I think, maybe I should just pick a vice? Especially after the shit reactions my body’s had. Not 22 anymore.

Smokings been an on and off thing. I don’t want a breif case of COPD, which is probably the most minor side effect short term.. compared to long term life threatening symptoms. Sleep apnea, heart arrhythmia, chest pain etc. But like I’ve got… hand numbness, foot numbness, arm soreness, shit energy levels, poor circulation, migraines, vision loss. It’s just a habit that hurts me more than helps. And when used with alcohol its just even more toxic.

I’m gonna work on just quitting smokes while being mindful, but not militaristic of perfecting something else OR stressing myself out with other mistakes/bad habits. I know that quitting everything or focusing on more than one problem right now wouldn’t benefit me. Fuck the rest and quit smoking.

I guess I could look at it as one big problem in life gone in less than 30 days. That big problem causes other problems. And after fixing this, it just becomes a compounding effect = more progress. Fuck the rest (for now) and just quit smoking. (Within reason.. I’d like to work out a lot but that can wait until after the quitting for a hot min, yknow)

Nearly 30 and I’m still making impulsive decisions. Ughhhhh